Today is the first day of my new blog and I am so excited to get it started. I started this blog because I have so many friends and family that I interact with regularly who seem to just need a shoulder to lean on or cry on or celebrate on, whatever the case may be. I have 4 sibling sisters and 7 sisters in law. Even with this huge number of family members, I still have times where I just need to talk to someone in a sisterly way and can not really connect with one of them. I then feel a little lost and find myself hiding in food or laziness when I just need to get something off my chest. I wait and wait for the right time to connect with one of my "sisters" and due to how busy most women are, the connection, many times, is not available.
Then I also have friends that either have sisters that they are estranged from and can not talk to or have no sibling sisters. These are the women whom I find have the need to talk and communicate with someone. As we get older, this gets more important! I always try to take the time to connect with these women so that they feel they have someone. I am no expert at anything and do not pretend to be, however, for some blessed reason women find that I am easy to talk with.
So this is the reason for the blog. I realize that it will take some time before this blog becomes one where it is read and women interact with but I am going to start with just bringing things up that I have been engaged with recently.
So here goes...
THE Elderly Mother
It seems that my generation (50 something) has so many issues with caring for elderly parents. I personally care for elderly people and witness first hand how difficult this can be on the daughters or daughters in laws. Not everyone this day and age can afford to send their parents to a nursing home. There are also many people who have the money but do not want them to go into a nursing home. Yet again, sometimes there is so much red tape and paperwork that is needed to be complete before you can get help. Not everyone has a perfect filing system where every paper you need is within reach. This, in itself, is very frustrating and aggravating to some people. You can pay an attorney to help you with the legal part of this process but you still have to produce the funds to pay the attorney and you have to produce the papers.
Duty and obligation are sometimes the two factors that women feel in the decision to take care of their parents. Well, think back on your life and tell me how enjoyable something is that you feel is your duty and/or obligation to do? In fact, it can be something that most women dread. So the problem exists that when you are caring for a parent and are doing it out of duty and/or obligation, it is going to wear on you. At this age range (50 and more or something) anything that wears on you will wear you down, zap your energy, zap your joy and effect your overall health. Do you think that your parent wants that for you? I know, I know, it tears on your heart! You feel so disloyal when you make a decision about your parents that is in your best interest.
So, here is the thing. You have to decide if you can change the way you think about the situation of caring for your parent and try to find beauty and joy in it and realize that it is going to take a lot out of you and be OK with that or to send your parent somewhere that they will be taken care of. This is not something that will come easy but if you put much thought in it before the decision is made, it will make things easier!
Much more on this to come!
